Thursday, June 6, 2019

Travel Chronicles: Gombe

Sorry guys, I've been mia for a while. My apologies please 😍😍.

Gombe.

This man pissed me off eh. The bike man. He was a bit elderly so I controlled myself from lashing out as I felt.

I agreed with the driver from bauchi Park that he was going to take me to the park where I was to get another car going to my destination, in Gombe. So we get to Gombe Town.

Town is so beautiful πŸ’•, street lights and very beautiful round abouts everywhere. I was tempted to spend the night but I had another bus to catch. I was still lost in the sights of the place, oohing and aahing when a passenger mentioned he wanted to alight.

The driver drops him and this man come and starts shouting the name of the town in Borno I was going to. The driver asks him if he's leaving now, assuming the man had a small vehicle to do the intrastate travel, and he says yes.
Before I get down from the bus I ask him again if he's leaving any moment, he says yes. All these while I just assumed his car was parked very close. It was getting late, and it's not advisable to travel late in the North. Some northern states still have curfews and do not allow any cars past their check points at that time. I was going to Borno which had curfew so you can understand my hurry.

I get down and follow this man, frantically looking for his car.

'Oga abeg hurry up. Where's the car? I hope there are passengers already?'

By this time my bus already left.

This man just took me to where a bike was parked and told me to get on.

'Oga I am not understanding. I thought you said you are leaving now? '

'Eh. Yes na. Na the bike be this. I go take you go the park wey you go enter motor'. He told me.

To say I was pissed off is putting it lightlyπŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ.
Why the hell did you make me get down from that bus? That bus driver was supposed to take me to the park! Why convince me to get down here for you to now take me to where I was originally going to? I was livid😑!

'Oga what's this na? Why did you let me drop here? I was going there already.. πŸ˜’What's all these? How far is it sef?'

'It's not far. Just get on let me carry you there sharp sharp.'

He didn't even apologise, but instead was claiming the bus wouldn't have gotten there. And that every person going to that particular town had to drop on the way and take a bike to the park.

Some other guys around saw us arguing and came around. One of the guys who was a bit literate tried to make peace and explained. He apologised and told me most people dropped along the way too if the bus was delaying. We agreed, I and the bike man, and he finally took me to the park. The 'not - so - far place he described that I thought was less than ten minutes turned out to be another long and annoying trip on it's own. And worst mistake, we didn't agree on a price before leaving so that caused another issue again.

To say my mood was spoilt is putting it lightly. Luckily for me I was the second to last passenger to complete the vehicle as it was already getting late to travel.

Moral of the story should be,πŸ˜’πŸ€” follow the driver to the park next time. (I guess)
But finally I look forward to visiting Gombe properly. The town is really fine. 😍


Image was taken as soon as I got to my destination.  πŸ˜

Saturday, April 27, 2019

Travel Chronicles : Owerri

On a good day, Port Harcourt to Owerri should be about a 100+ km. It should take a public bus one hour and thirty  minutes to get there and for a private vehicle, it should take less than that. But for the number of annoying and very unnecessary checkpoints on the road.
 With a throwing distance from each other, it takes more than 2 hours to travel to your destination. Haba!

You have the Police, SARS, Mopol, Army, Road Safety and others I don't even know their aim on that road, each with their own check points. Aside from the touts that fight over N50 or more to be collected from these drivers each time they pick a passenger along their road, the drivers still have to settle each check point as it passes. Why is this so?

Please, I do wonder how much they are even making as drivers, that they have to spend a good amount of their earnings on the road just for the uniformed men to allow them pass?. (Mind you, this is not part of their job)
And it's not a one off settlement o!

Each time these drivers pass that road, they have to drop at least N50 for each check point. I didn't remember to count them but if I'm not exaggerating, we passed more than 20 check points on our road, and the driver was made to settle more than 90% of them. The other ones he could escape he had to lie about giving their counterparts at the back. This is so wrong.

And with the recent lack of professionalism from these uniformed men, where we have read about shooting unarmed civilians for no known reason, the drivers are scared to even refuse them for fear of being shot at if they try to escape.

What's wrong with our institutions as a whole? Where or how can these things be corrected? It's disheartening!

Ps: picture was taken in front of the church I was sent out of in Owerri. Story for another day πŸ₯‚.

Friday, April 26, 2019

My Travel Chronicles : Port Harcourt

When I got into pH, the car park I came with was directly opposite this very beautiful green park. I looked for the sign post and I saw 'pleasure park' as the name. Immediately my brother came to pick me I asked him what the place was for, he said just hang out. I made a mental note in my mind to make sure I visit the before leaving.

I did visit, with a friend, and I think it's one of the high points of my stay in ph. The place is so serene, GREEN and very beautiful.

As I was even walking into the park, this white lady stopped and said 'hello, excuse me... '

'Yes? Hello ma '

'Yes you are' she said smiling. I was lost, and I'm sure the expression on my face said the same. And she laughed a very low laugh and looked at my shirt.

On it was written 'YOU ARE AWESOME', and my heart swelled and my face bubbled with laughter and joy as I gladly replied her 'thank you ma'...

I felt even happier with just that single compliment from a stranger, and loved the shirt more. It was a gift, even though big I loved wearing it everywhere. I smiled all through my walk in the park, and as she passed me severally with the children she came with I kept smiling. To me, my day was made!

One of my love languages is words of affirmation, and knowing this, I'm very receptive when I'm complimented. Call it vain, I don't know. But that's me πŸ˜‹.

I notice one faster when they say the nicest things to me, or even those around me. You might say I don't do well with criticism, I also love those, but let it be constructive and we are good.

Pleasure park was and still is a refreshing place for me, I hope to visit there again when I come back here. I wish something like this can be created for those in the North. πŸ€”πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©

Saturday, April 20, 2019

My Travel Chronicles: Bauchi

Travelling in the North is quite different from travelling in the east. In the North, especially the North East, there's a flat demarcation.

Ladies or women don't sit with the men, it's like a silent law or something. I grew up in the North but somehow didn't inculcate some of these traditions, so I usually have issues at the bus parks with their conductors when they tell me where to sit, which is mostly uncomfortable.

My most recent experience was when I was traveling from Bauchi to Borno state, I didn't tell my mum of course, till I came back. (She would have killed me) πŸ™„πŸ™„.

I got to the park late on a work day and it was the last bus, I paid for my ticket and went to sit directly behind the driver. I saw another woman there and the back seats were filled with women with children that were crying and pouring stuff from their mouth in the process.

Mba, I will seat far away please πŸ˜’.

Conductor brought a male passenger and commanded I go to the back, he told the other woman with me in Hausa that we all are supposed to sit at the back. I was wearing an earpiece but could hear them. I pretended not to.

The woman grumbled a bit and went to the back, as she was leaving she touched me. I feigned ignorance and said 'baa Hausa'. This ajayi woman interpreted and said the guy asked us to go to the back. I looked at the conductor and asked him why, his reason was that I'm a woman, I'm not supposed to sit with a man.

Hian. As what? Since when? πŸ™„ πŸ™„ πŸ™„. You hypocrite. So if I sit with him here I will get pregnant or the driver will have accident abi? Please oga baa Hausa, leave me alone I want to sit here.

The guy started to insult me. In Hausa of course. He kept ranting and I ignored him. Then he said I must go to the back, or leave the bus. I looked around, this was the last bus and it was getting late, it wasn't even a direct bus to Borno sef.
I had to get to Gombe first before getting another bus to take me there.

Ah! This guy knew he had me in a fix, I didn't have another option as I was up against him, alone, and the other female passengers who were by this time insulting me as well and saying I was a stupid and troublesome girl for wanting to sit with men. I glared at the conductor and stood up, went to the back and continued with my ear piece. The women continued talking, as usual na πŸ™„πŸ˜’πŸ˜’. That I was troublesome, and a spoilt girl. They were saying it in Hausa and I could pick some of the words they said.

Few minutes later, the conductor guy came back with a lady and a man, and asked me if I still wanted to sit in front. Mtcheww 😏 😏. After making me shamefully carry my bag to the back, you want to come and placate me? Your head is not correct!

The annoying co-seat mate that has been insulting me touched me and started laughing, I looked at her with all the disdain I could muster on my face.

What's wrong with this one? What ma? πŸ˜’ πŸ˜’

She stopped and said conductor is talking to you. You can go to the front. I hated where I was seating, but I still had to do small shakara. I gave the conductor a short lecture of allowing people sit where they wanted to, especially when they come early. If the men wanted to sit in front they should come earlier and secure their seats na, what's all these.?
I was talking in English, but I cared not if he understood me or not.

I carried myself again back to my initial position with plenty grumbling. 😏😏

So for those planning to travel to the North by road for the first time, and with a northern travel company. Respect yourself jejeli and go to where your gender is seating.

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Cutting of new born hair

On cutting of new born hair at one year

I'm a very curious person so I tend to question alot of things especially when they are not making sense to me. Or I don't understand the reason being given, I question it till it's a bit reasonable to me.

Last week I met a friend with his son, very cute baby boy and his hair was plaited. The mum explained that his hair was too long and baby was always crying when they tried to comb it so she decided to plait it. And that she was waiting for baby to get to one year before she can cut the hair. She can't cut it before or after, it has to be at one year kpereπŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ˜©. Who made these rules by the way?
Me I was more interested in the cute and soft baby hair and just passively mentioned that I won't cut my baby's hair if they had such long and full hair. These people attacked me ọ, saying tradition states that we must cut the first hair a child comes into the world with, it's not good for the child to carry the hair.

When I was in secondary school, my friend's mum gave birth and till recently when I found out, they didn't cut J's hair. Her hair didn't cut or no village witch followed her or ancestral lie lie curse. She entered secondary school, If I  remember correctly what my friend told me, before she cut her hair. Her hair was so long and curly and everytime I went to their house I always loved touching it. As far back as that time I already told myself I wasn't going to cut my baby's hair.

So I want to know why we cut our hair at one year? What's the rationale behind it aside the fact that we were indoctrinated into it by our parents and never bothered to question the reason why. I would like to stick to Samson's bible story where God asked him not to cut his hair, because I don't know any other place in the bible where God asked people to cut their hair even.

Saturday, March 2, 2019

Scars...

I have this very clear scar on my right hand. I just looked at it again and remembered how I got it.
My wicked elder brother Paul has always been mischievous right from the womb. He was about 6 or 7years of age when he gave me this scar with a hot iron. My aunt gave him the iron to go keep somewhere, and he cornered me and washed my head till I brought it out 'voluntarily' (not with clear eyes obviously πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„), then he ironed my hands with it 😭😭😭😒. Wicked brother I have. This explains why I hate irons and ironing till date, it's my brother's fault 😈😏.

So I'm calling you out, chuks, to avoid me! You and anything that looks like Iron!
I'm sure he also has scars from the beating he recieved that day from mum πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

Lord Ọf Keys

My dad is obsessed with keys. Like every minute of everyday, he's with a bunch of keys, or bunches even. His pockets are always filled with keys, his car, in this house. Always carrying keys and asking for them back when you collect any from him πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„. Sometimes gets annoying when you are looking for your key and can't find it. Be rest assured he took it. If he sees any key lying about, he takes them and makes them his.
Any key you are looking for in this world, please come and ask my dad. He's with it.

Recently I've been asking for keys anyhow, like every minute unconsciously even. And my kid sister noticed it and told me one painful thing just this afternoon, that I'm my father's daughter 😭😭😭😭😭.

So I'm now Lord of the keys as well? 😭😭😭

Lagos Lastma

When I got to Lagos newly in 2015, my sister gave me the basic rules of staying or moving around town, but forgot to tell me about the 'bridge rule 'πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ˜. The one that states that you must climb the bridge, whether it's far from you or not. That was how this wucked uniformed men arrested me and put me in their van at oshodi-under-bridge. Started telling me I will have to pay a certain amount to be released, I was shocked. I argued I was new in town and didn't even know a law like that existed, and they said 'ignorance is not an excuse'. Like seriously?πŸ™†β€β™€οΈ..
I was angry eh, and I was supposed to meet a friend there at the time. I just relax for car, sun too much sef and my friends was still far so free shade πŸ˜πŸ™„πŸ™„. The ladies were kept at the front seat of the van, while the guys were bundled to the back, and they made it sound like we were supposed to be grateful for being kept in special corner πŸ˜πŸ™„, make I hear. I watched as they 'hustled' for their unfortunate customers as if this was business. It was business to them I guess. Some of them didn't wear uniforms too that's why it was easy for them to get their targets. When one came to drag me, I even thought he was a broad daylight thief sef and was already opening my eyes and shouting he should leave me alone. Asheee na to carry me go van.πŸ˜’πŸ˜’
So my friend came around and started to call me. I told him I was in the van at the bridge, can't remember their names again sef.
No be lastma abi? πŸ€” πŸ€”
He came and just met one of them, negotiated like it was a normal thing and paid before they let me go. I was still running my mouth and asking him why he paid. I thought it was against the law or something, and he explained that it was against the law to cross the road when there's a bridge there in Lagos. Hian. I didn't get the memo na 😏.
Now my kid sis just had the same experience and was 'cheated' out of her little cash. She's new too and no one gave her the heads up about this. It's paining me😐😣.

Is this right? Abi it has become a norm and everybody is now cool with it and letting these guys extort someone unnecessarily. Nobody feels the need to challenge this act?
Please I need to know if this is part of the law or something. There should be banners or something at strategic points around these bridges,  to tell new comers or unsuspecting victims about what to do when in Lagos, and then more like a first time warning of sorts. Without having to extort money from them.
Me I feel this is extortion though, I may be wrong.

Twist Of Fate 2

So for those waiting for landlord gist part 2,here goes.
Neighbour was making my hair last weekend and giving me gist as usual. The next thing, she tells me that I should forgive landlord na, that he's a good guy ọ. He buys her coke everytime he comes around and asks of me. I asked her if he told her what he did, she said yes but that he has accepted he's wrong. I said no wahala, I'm not keeping a grudge either ways. We are cool, besides I've met him in the compound on different occasions since then and we are cool.
Then she asks me if I'm going for the wedding.

'which wedding?' I asked her.

'ah ah. He didn't tell you? Landlord is getting married in April na. He's sharing wrapper for asoebi sef.'

'Oh? Really? I had no idea na. He didn't tell me. OK Where's our own wrapper na? As per tenants concerned?'

'He didn't give me ọ. That's why I'm telling you so you will ask him for us. He said we are not in the budget, but his colour is blue and white. You know he likes you so if you ask him he will give us'.

'mtcheww πŸ™„ πŸ™„ πŸ™„. Mummy P abeg lemme. You just told me he's planning wedding and still telling me he likes me. Which one you dey abeg? If we are not in his budget then no yawa na. He invited you sef, not me so I'm not going again. Better prepare for your wedding yourself. Hian 'πŸ˜’πŸ™„.

Mummy P laughed and tried to cajole and all, I told her I'm not going again.
While talking landlord comes around and excitedly walks towards us to give a pat and shake greeting, but I raise my hand and stops him midway...

'married man good afternoon, I heard you are getting married. What of our own asoebi wrapper? At least we should have special tenants wrappers sef. Or what do you think?'

And oga says the same thing, 'but I didn't put you in my budget na'.

OK na. I turned to my neighbour and tells her again, 'Shey you Don hear am now? Don't disturb me again o'.

Case closed.

So you all can now remove your mind from calling me landlady you hear? Amebo peopleπŸ˜’ πŸ˜’
Thank you!

Twist of Fate...

This world sha, it's really small.

Last year, on the day I rounded up my youth service, I didn't want to change my khaki. 'let me enjoy it for the last time', I kept saying. I even slept in it on that day, the excitement was just too much. But that's not the gist.
My friend and housemate has never asked me to join her when going to visit this particular friend of hers. Never. On this day she came to my room and was like 'Lily let's go and meet M. He said he wants to celebrate the POP for us'.

'for you or for us?' πŸ˜’ πŸ˜’

She said for us. 'He asked me to come with my friend, and you are the only free one. Let's go na'.
I wasn't doing anything then, so I grudgingly agreed to go with her. We went wearing our uniforms.
We got to this popular eatery in town, her friend was seated with another friend of his. Let's call him Mr X. Her man will be Mr M.

I and M were quite friendly so we chatted and laughed and he congratulated us and all. He introduced me to his new friend X, and cornered my friend one side. The expected thing was to start talking with the new guy na.
X man started to chat and ask questions, the normal feeling of being in an interview kicked in and I wasn't feeling him sef. I wasn't hungry cause I just ate before leaving the house, so I just ordered one moimoi and two fishes. He kept insisting I should take more things na, it's my day, he's equal to the task, blablabla.πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

'Oga I just ate, I'm not so hungry. I won't even eat this now sef, maybe later. That's why I'm taking it away'.
Then he went back to quizzing me.

'Oh wow, you read computer science too? I'm also a computer engineer. What's your interest? Do you program? Or network? Which one?'
And on and on he went about how he could do this, and do that, and bring the telecoms mast to plant in his room. He was that good πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„.
He noticed I wasn't talking again, just giving him the obligatory 'hmmm, wow, ehe?, that's nice' comments then he said something to me. I pretended not to hear and kept quiet. He now said it again. I told him, 'please speak up, I cant hear you'.

Oga X got pissed. That why am I behaving like a kid na. Ah ah. We are in a public place, must he shout and spell everything out before I understand what he's saying. I should shake body jor. All these Igbo girls sef with sense'.

I smiled and calmly told him I still don't understand what he said. He got a paper and pen and wrote it down.
'I want you to come to my hotel room later this evening. Time 7pm. Mr M will tell your friend the place. HOW MUCH? '. Then he continued speaking, 'you know i don't know this Town, jndbfnmdkkmnd dujskkskduv dghdjdjjdj..'.

I wasn't listening anymore. I just stood up. 'babe, abeg let's go. I'm done here'.
Ah ah, what happened na. Lily what's the problem? Mr M started to ask him what the problem was.
Funny enough oga X didn't see anything wrong with what he said. He had this stupid smirk on his face and was showing surprise on his face too as his friend asked him what's up.
Mr. M started to tell me to calm down na, shey he asked me to come and celebrate. Why am I getting angry like this? Haba
He then asked Mr X to apologise, even though he doesn't know what was said but he could see I was clearly angry. My friend too put her mouth and started begging me I should wait small please.
I just sat there while Mr X tried his lame attempt at apologising, because he genuinely didn't see the insult in what he said to me. I ignored him completely till my friend was ready to go.
They dropped us off while he still told my friend that we should try and hang out later that night na. It's our day, why should we hole up inside like that?

As we walked to our lodge, I turned to my friend and asked her. 'Babe, did you know Oga M had his other friend with him there or not? And when he asked you to come with a friend, did you ask him why?
She swore she didn't know, and apologised after I told her what the bunkum said. She called her friend there and then and warned him never to try such again, and to express her displeasure at Mr X for what he said.

He kept calling later that night asking us to come and have a drink but we ignored. Never to hear from him again. I was glad I was never going to set my eyes on him again, or any of them for that matter. Or so I thought πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ.

Fast forward to early this year, I moved to bauchi, got a new place but never met the landlord. The agent refused giving his number out, I was desperate at the time so I didn't bother and just moved in.
Few days ago this guy walks into the house with the agent to inspect, (or get a room. So I thought). He looks very familiar πŸ€”πŸ€”, I just thought and continued cleaning my veranda. We greeted and they passed, went round the compound, checked the empty rooms and left.
My neighbour came to meet me later to tell me the landlord came around ọ, and he gave her money for bulbs she bought. Ah. Where was I na? He will give me my own o. I need to buy 5 bulbs for this house. Haba.
Then two days ago, same guy walks in again.
'Do you know me?' πŸ˜’
'Am I supposed to know you?' πŸ™„ πŸ™„

Then I told him he looks familiar. It seems we've met before. He screamed. 'Oh. Yes. The yobe Igbo girl that was angry with me? It's true. Small world ọ. How now? You live here? What are you doing in Bauchi? Wow. You see God wants us to meet again. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„
Nye nye nye...'

Guess what,???
Mr. X is my landlord!
πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

On the quarrel between baby in the womb and suckling babies

I want to know something. It's been bothering me more now because in my current line of work, I hear and see it all the time.
When breast feeding mothers take in, their suckling babies either starts to purge, vomit milk or reject the breast milk completely. Sometimes the mothers don't even know that they are pregnant until they come to the maternity and the first thing they are asked by the nurses ọ when they complain about their babies is, 'are you pregnant?'
I found that odd, because I felt there's no need for a baby in the womb to affect the breast milk, so I asked questions but got similar responses too.
Then not just the hospital, but people close to me have experienced such too without actually knowing the cause. I and my friend were trying to conjure up reasons in our head for it, silly ones that I can't say πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ and I asked a doctor who told me there's no medical explanation for that.
I went online and the English is plentyπŸ™„, with no explicit reason for this occurrence.

So I'm here now to ask, if someone has any explanation for this?
I'm not asking for any report or something like that o, I'm just curious to know what the quarrel is between a newborn and a growing foetus. Why the beef over breast milk they (foetus) don't get to drink for months?
πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’