Friday, November 9, 2018

#FlashbackFriday

I just read a post that reminded me of this. It's long o๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ฏ

Few years ago I was home and mum sent me on an errand in the next street. You know the teenage age where you like going on errands because you are feeling fly and all fine na ๐Ÿ˜Ž, you want to trek everywhere around especially at night?.  Yea, that age ๐Ÿ˜€

'who will help me buy airtime downstairs? '
You will just shout from your room' me oo.. Mummy let me buy for you'๐Ÿ˜Š

I jejeli collected the money, then diverted to my room to rub small powder, (what? ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜? I am going to the next street, duhhhh๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜), then change my house clothe to outing cloth incase I get a toaster na, ighotago๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž
I made sure my mum didn't see me going out of course, so I just sneaked from my room straight to the door.
She shouted from the parlor 'who is opening that door?' (we have one noisy amebo ๐Ÿ˜ฌiron door leading to the stairs that announces everybody trying to leave or enter the house)
Me : 'mummy it's me, I'm going to buy the card you sent me' (I was replying from behind the door)
Mum : since that time ๐Ÿ˜ฎ? What were you doing since Ifeyinwa? Nwete gi there eh, common zuzuru and go get what I sent you osiso.. Nonsense ๐Ÿ˜‘..

Iya nme, what is my concern? ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ I have dressed for the occasion mbok so insult me anyhow, e no concern me ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ˜Ž.

I run downstairs, out the gate and take my time to catwalk to the next street, not minding that we have about 3 shops downstairs ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜. They won't have 'mtn' card na ๐Ÿ˜Ž, I thought to myself.
Then voila, God answered my prayers ๐Ÿ˜‡ and sent me a toaster๐Ÿ˜€. My powder and change of clothes won't be a waste.
I pose at the junction leading to my house and the next street, forgetting all thoughts of the mtn recharge card, listening to the sweet lies and nothings my toaster was saying. But in all, just feeling myself ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™Š.
Then the devil struck, I turned while I was doing the usual shyness thing and my dad was approaching.
Jesus! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ข. Where is he going to this night na?
I tried to remember all the lies in my head or excuses I could use, for where? ๐Ÿ˜ฑ. Nothing made sense.
Then I smiled ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š, cause I remembered my dad doesn't see well at night. He won't recognise me na ๐Ÿ˜Š, shebi he used to drive past me at night? Mtchw๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜. This one no go catch me.. I relaxed my thing, and he was close now.
Then the yeye guy now opened his mouth and greeted him.  Ha๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ, daddy answer greeting and pass na ๐Ÿ˜Ž, he no gree. He now turned and answered very well, then looked at my back that was turned to him and said,
'ify e gotego ihe mummy Ziri gi? '
(have you bought what your mum sent you)
Ha๐Ÿ˜ฑ, I didn't know the Lord has opened my daddy's eyes at night o.
I just replied : yes sir, daddy good evening sir, I'm going now sir, and all the sirs kept flying out..
He then nodded and walked past.

I left the wucked toaster immediately, I RAN to the shop praying,, and begging God for forgiveness, so that he can save me this last time from the beating I will receive at home, by making my dad forget to tell mum.
you know that trick where you have to pull your eye lashes so your parents will forget something you did? ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ข
Oh I pulled everything jare, daddy must forget this incident forever ๐Ÿ‘.

Then I ran back home, sneaked back to my room to change my clothes sharp sharp, then cornered to the parlor.
Me: mummy here, give me your phone let me help you (ezigbo Mmadu things o)
Mum: what kept you there since? You this girl, I will deal with you o. Mind yourself in this house, why didn't you buy here, Yadav Yaya zzzzzzz....... I wasn't listening...

Then dad came back, I stayed in my room, just listening attentively whether he will mention it.. I waited o till they were about going to bed, he didn't tell her anything!
Oh thank you Jesus ๐Ÿ™† ๐Ÿ’. You are too much baba๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€. He has forgotten o. I prayed a Thanksgiving prayer and slept happily.
But alas, my happiness was short lived.

 He told her in bed! ๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ซ

I woke up in the middle of the night looking up to a very fierce looking koboko and an angry looking mum. See sweat /tears ๐Ÿ˜….
Please brothers and sisters in the Lord, you can imagine the rest...

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