Tough love.
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I passed out from the compulsory service a few weeks ago and my parents' calls since then have been 'Ifeyinwa bata wa zie nụ. Gịnị ka ika ná eme ébé ahụ?' and a host of them. Most of my friends and acquaintances are all asking the same thing, 'when are you going home?'
Like I don't understand. Is there anything like a job or activity aside my sewing, waiting for me at home? Or you all feel that because I'm a girl, I should run home after service, continue to say 'thank you ma, thank you sir' and not fend for myself?
The last I checked, 18 years is still the adult age in this country, and In saner climes I should have moved out of my parents house 7 years ago, but I can't try that here na. Going to the university and This service year was always a blessing and escape route for me, because that's my only acceptable reason to leave my house and live out for as long as required. It pains me because I can't remember my parents ever calling my elder brother like this to come back home, the highest they did was congratulate him and encourage him to come back when he gets the chance. And they remind him to 'cho wa ọrụ ọ'. Every single day now, my mum or dad calls in the mornings and evenings to ask me, 'Ifeyinwa, when are you coming back?' and each time, I tell them I have work to do here, they will grumble and complain and still call again, to ask me same thing. Ah ah. Na only me Don finish service?
I remember when I got posted here last year, I cried my eyes out and promised myself I won't stay an extra day here once I finish service. But months into the service year, reality hit me. I can't help it, this is Nigeria 🇳🇬. It's not about running back home to continue being dependent, it's about getting my footing in life, for me. To be able to make decisions, on what to eat, buy, pay bills, make budgets, send money home, and do things I feel like doing because I want to. Not because I was told to. This is the only period in my life I think I can have this level of space, as an adult, why can't I?
I know my parents love me, and yes they probably want me to come home and stay with them out of that love. But this is love, u might say its harmful to me. After a few days, the 'missing me fever' will wear off.
Then what next??
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