I was going through Facebook when I saw this letter on
Stanley 's Wall. I could relate and my comment would have turned into a post so I decided to share mine here.
***********
When I first came here and was introduced to the class, they were all so excited so I assumed this wouldn't be as bad as I thought. I'm taking all the forms of SS1 class, and some of them already looked bigger than me.
I noticed this particular boy especially and I remember I even shared the experience here. He was always looking at me from his seat at the back, tried all of his possible tactics to get my attention. Either by standing up to ask silly questions while smiling (silly questions because he already knew the answer. If I tried to answer he always interjected to tell me so he was doing it on purpose), or he came to stand in front of me, like almost entering my mouth 🤦♀️, just to take excuse to borrow a pen. Or he came late, stands at the door for a while smiling to himself, then when I turn to notice him, he asks, 'Anty please can I enter?'.
This was one of the most obvious crush in one my classes.
Each time I was passing the corridor, some of them came to windows to whistle, or scream 'Anty Anty, kin nyi kyau sosai' or 'fine anty' or all the sorts. Most times they say it in Hausa, sometimes I wave them and pass, other times I don't bother.
Some were bold enough to even meet me, some followed me when I was going home to give me sweets or sachet water (between giving someone sachet water in these parts is like gold. The weather is freaking 🔥 hot), telling me Anty is fine ọ. When I refused they followed me till I got on a tricycle before they turned back dejectedly. I didn't know how to handle this type of attention, from children I was supposed to model and teach so I just ignored them most times, or kept a straight face😒😒.
If I as much as laughed in class because of something one of them said, they cheered on, laughed louder😩🙄🙄, even past when the joke was valid till I shouted for them to settle down again. These was my routine almost everyday.
The one that really bothered me, and still bothering me is the experience I had last term, with a girl this time.
I was leaving school early that day but I was in a hurry. My colleague asked me to wait for her so when I got to the gate, I was waiting and checking my wristwatch ⌚ anxiously. I didn't notice these set of girls murmuring, holding themselves childishly and walking round me. They obviously wanted to talk to me but didn't know how to phrase it.
As I was just turning to start walking towards the main road, one of them ran to me and said in a rush,
'Anty Anty wait, I love you Anty, you are beautiful, I want to be like you. Anty I like you very much'
Before she kissed me on my cheeks and ran off. What she did didn't register till I got on the keke that I stopped. My colleague was already ahead, and sitted.
I suddenly screamed, and the keke guy turned in the middle of the road, with my colleague too asking me what happened. I motioned the driver to continue that it was nothing, while I narrated what just registered in my brain to her. She laughed it off and said it was nothing.
But I was worried, one of many reasons being that I couldn't even recognise her face again if I saw her. And I wanted to see her again and talk to her.
The next day in school, I looked around, hoping I would notice that strange smile of someone that pecked her teacher, or something to make me remember her face. But nothing.
I have never felt so bad about not knowing how to speak Hausa fluently, till that day. I would have asked them in class codedly so she doesn't think I want to punish her, but I couldn't do that. And up till today, I've not seen her.
We've resumed again, and I have a new class now but it seems it's the same cycle repeating itself again.
I think at this age, all of the crushing hormones are overly active, and if not channeled or controlled properly these little ones might end up in the wrong hands. I know I used to crush on my biology teacher ☹️🤦♀️, so I made sure I learnt how to draw all those yeye amoebas and shapeless specimens. All to get his attention 😩😩☹️. But he shattered it when he wrote in my report booklet at the end of a session when he was our form master, that I was restless😩😩🙄. I was angry with him in my mind and my mum didn't even let me hear word, she insulted me forever because of that ☹️☹️, so my crush gradually faded.
Teachers are really trying, they deserve all the accolades biko.
I know I can't and don't really know to handle this if I was to be in this field long term.
More grace to all teachers...
About the girl though... Hmm
ReplyDelete