Saturday, September 29, 2018

The 'bride price'

'Daddy how much is our village people bride price?' 😒 😒 I asked.
My mum's antenna ears stood up. She sat up well pretending to be watching TV, you know, Nigerian mother style😂. In her mind now I'm asking for my future husband or an intending one. 🙄🙄🙄
Dad was like,, 'errrmm, no fixed price ọ. But aga e de list(they will write list). Ọ dependiri on what the father wants to collect. Jụọ nụ ụmụ nne gị lu goro dị ego ole nna hà natara (ask your sisters that are married how much their dad collected)'.
Ok.

I stand to leave and he asks, 'why e ji ajụ?(why do you ask?)'
Daddy nothing. Just want to know. Besides I don't like it. Ụna ana ere zi anyị ere?(are you people selling us now) I told him.

He calls me back. 'Bịa ébé, nọrọ ala. (come back here, sit down).
Anyị adịghị ere ùnu, mana ọ omenala., (we are not selling you girls ọ, but it's the tradition). If you don't do it, the ụmụnna will fine the family'.

And I ask again, which ụmụnna? How much did they contribute to my upbringing to demand a price on my head? Abeg abeg this one no follow ọ. Only my immediate family and relatives have that right ọ.
By this time my mum couldn't pretend anymore.
'Bịa ify🤔, enwere onye na abịa nụ? 🤗🤗. (come ify, is there a suitor)'.
She smiles so sweetly.. I ignored her and continued with my dad.
Then she changed tactics.
Mba kwa ọ, ify, don't try it o. Don't ever say such when the time comes ọ. When you are in that room with the ụmụnnas and they are haggling price, better don't open your mouth ọ. I Know why I'm telling you this.
I give her the side eye😒😒😒.
My dad backs her, 'better listen to your mother. That's if you will be in the room sef when they are doing the back and forth. They might just call you finally to ask you some questions when they are done. So you might not be there. It didn't start with you, it's not going to end with you. Ọnwụ omenala adanne. (it's the tradition adanne)'.

I didn't have anything to say, I just knew I didn't like it. My mum still followed me to the room and continued asking. Nne tell me na 😂😂, onwere onye na abịa nụ? 😒 😒

Mummy free me jare. I get work. Oya go do your own.
And she hisses and gives me the side eye 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 before leaving the room.

Talking about it on social media doesn't change anything, because the real people that need to be addressed are not on the Internet, but in the villages, still making rules that benefit them.
Aside the knowledge and new findings one gets from sharing the experiences with this bride price thing, I don't see it's relevance on social media☹️. It's the sad reality.
For me, I'm indifferent about it. But I do hope it is abolished finally. I've read alot of posts on this topic, those for and against the scrapping of it, and I know I wished I could do something more to support my side aside writing about it.

Ps.. The picture below is so me. When I say I want a simple wedding, this is the very humble wedding I mean 🤗🤗☹️.


4 comments:

  1. This is humble wedding qua, lily. OK oo. Talking abt bride price even the Bible recognises bride price. It doesnt have to be outrageous. If I tell u my bride price u will open mouth it wasn't even up to #100 and my dad still didn't collect it complete, he left d kobo. But na d list dey kill person. God help us

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    Replies
    1. Yes dear I understand. That's why I mentioned as well in the post that mostly it's the list that is scary. Even my place has no definite amount called the bride price per say, but the list. Hmmm.
      Lol, thats humble na 😂😂

      Delete
    2. Yes dear I understand. That's why I mentioned as well in the post that mostly it's the list that is scary. Even my place has no definite amount called the bride price per say, but the list. Hmmm.
      Lol, thats humble na 😂😂

      Delete
  2. If this one is humble, what is na extravagant?

    ReplyDelete