Twist Of Fate 2

So for those waiting for landlord gist part 2,here goes.
Neighbour was making my hair last weekend and giving me gist as usual. The next thing, she tells me that I should forgive landlord na, that he's a good guy ọ. He buys her coke everytime he comes around and asks of me. I asked her if he told her what he did, she said yes but that he has accepted he's wrong. I said no wahala, I'm not keeping a grudge either ways. We are cool, besides I've met him in the compound on different occasions since then and we are cool.
Then she asks me if I'm going for the wedding.

'which wedding?' I asked her.

'ah ah. He didn't tell you? Landlord is getting married in April na. He's sharing wrapper for asoebi sef.'

'Oh? Really? I had no idea na. He didn't tell me. OK Where's our own wrapper na? As per tenants concerned?'

'He didn't give me ọ. That's why I'm telling you so you will ask him for us. He said we are not in the budget, but his colour is blue and white. You know he likes you so if you ask him he will give us'.

'mtcheww 🙄 🙄 🙄. Mummy P abeg lemme. You just told me he's planning wedding and still telling me he likes me. Which one you dey abeg? If we are not in his budget then no yawa na. He invited you sef, not me so I'm not going again. Better prepare for your wedding yourself. Hian '😒🙄.

Mummy P laughed and tried to cajole and all, I told her I'm not going again.
While talking landlord comes around and excitedly walks towards us to give a pat and shake greeting, but I raise my hand and stops him midway...

'married man good afternoon, I heard you are getting married. What of our own asoebi wrapper? At least we should have special tenants wrappers sef. Or what do you think?'

And oga says the same thing, 'but I didn't put you in my budget na'.

OK na. I turned to my neighbour and tells her again, 'Shey you Don hear am now? Don't disturb me again o'.

Case closed.

So you all can now remove your mind from calling me landlady you hear? Amebo people😒 😒
Thank you!

Twist of Fate...

This world sha, it's really small.

Last year, on the day I rounded up my youth service, I didn't want to change my khaki. 'let me enjoy it for the last time', I kept saying. I even slept in it on that day, the excitement was just too much. But that's not the gist.
My friend and housemate has never asked me to join her when going to visit this particular friend of hers. Never. On this day she came to my room and was like 'Lily let's go and meet M. He said he wants to celebrate the POP for us'.

'for you or for us?' 😒 😒

She said for us. 'He asked me to come with my friend, and you are the only free one. Let's go na'.
I wasn't doing anything then, so I grudgingly agreed to go with her. We went wearing our uniforms.
We got to this popular eatery in town, her friend was seated with another friend of his. Let's call him Mr X. Her man will be Mr M.

I and M were quite friendly so we chatted and laughed and he congratulated us and all. He introduced me to his new friend X, and cornered my friend one side. The expected thing was to start talking with the new guy na.
X man started to chat and ask questions, the normal feeling of being in an interview kicked in and I wasn't feeling him sef. I wasn't hungry cause I just ate before leaving the house, so I just ordered one moimoi and two fishes. He kept insisting I should take more things na, it's my day, he's equal to the task, blablabla.🙄🙄🙄

'Oga I just ate, I'm not so hungry. I won't even eat this now sef, maybe later. That's why I'm taking it away'.
Then he went back to quizzing me.

'Oh wow, you read computer science too? I'm also a computer engineer. What's your interest? Do you program? Or network? Which one?'
And on and on he went about how he could do this, and do that, and bring the telecoms mast to plant in his room. He was that good 🙄🙄🙄.
He noticed I wasn't talking again, just giving him the obligatory 'hmmm, wow, ehe?, that's nice' comments then he said something to me. I pretended not to hear and kept quiet. He now said it again. I told him, 'please speak up, I cant hear you'.

Oga X got pissed. That why am I behaving like a kid na. Ah ah. We are in a public place, must he shout and spell everything out before I understand what he's saying. I should shake body jor. All these Igbo girls sef with sense'.

I smiled and calmly told him I still don't understand what he said. He got a paper and pen and wrote it down.
'I want you to come to my hotel room later this evening. Time 7pm. Mr M will tell your friend the place. HOW MUCH? '. Then he continued speaking, 'you know i don't know this Town, jndbfnmdkkmnd dujskkskduv dghdjdjjdj..'.

I wasn't listening anymore. I just stood up. 'babe, abeg let's go. I'm done here'.
Ah ah, what happened na. Lily what's the problem? Mr M started to ask him what the problem was.
Funny enough oga X didn't see anything wrong with what he said. He had this stupid smirk on his face and was showing surprise on his face too as his friend asked him what's up.
Mr. M started to tell me to calm down na, shey he asked me to come and celebrate. Why am I getting angry like this? Haba
He then asked Mr X to apologise, even though he doesn't know what was said but he could see I was clearly angry. My friend too put her mouth and started begging me I should wait small please.
I just sat there while Mr X tried his lame attempt at apologising, because he genuinely didn't see the insult in what he said to me. I ignored him completely till my friend was ready to go.
They dropped us off while he still told my friend that we should try and hang out later that night na. It's our day, why should we hole up inside like that?

As we walked to our lodge, I turned to my friend and asked her. 'Babe, did you know Oga M had his other friend with him there or not? And when he asked you to come with a friend, did you ask him why?
She swore she didn't know, and apologised after I told her what the bunkum said. She called her friend there and then and warned him never to try such again, and to express her displeasure at Mr X for what he said.

He kept calling later that night asking us to come and have a drink but we ignored. Never to hear from him again. I was glad I was never going to set my eyes on him again, or any of them for that matter. Or so I thought 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️.

Fast forward to early this year, I moved to bauchi, got a new place but never met the landlord. The agent refused giving his number out, I was desperate at the time so I didn't bother and just moved in.
Few days ago this guy walks into the house with the agent to inspect, (or get a room. So I thought). He looks very familiar 🤔🤔, I just thought and continued cleaning my veranda. We greeted and they passed, went round the compound, checked the empty rooms and left.
My neighbour came to meet me later to tell me the landlord came around ọ, and he gave her money for bulbs she bought. Ah. Where was I na? He will give me my own o. I need to buy 5 bulbs for this house. Haba.
Then two days ago, same guy walks in again.
'Do you know me?' 😒
'Am I supposed to know you?' 🙄 🙄

Then I told him he looks familiar. It seems we've met before. He screamed. 'Oh. Yes. The yobe Igbo girl that was angry with me? It's true. Small world ọ. How now? You live here? What are you doing in Bauchi? Wow. You see God wants us to meet again. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Nye nye nye...'

Guess what,???
Mr. X is my landlord!
🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

On the quarrel between baby in the womb and suckling babies

I want to know something. It's been bothering me more now because in my current line of work, I hear and see it all the time.
When breast feeding mothers take in, their suckling babies either starts to purge, vomit milk or reject the breast milk completely. Sometimes the mothers don't even know that they are pregnant until they come to the maternity and the first thing they are asked by the nurses ọ when they complain about their babies is, 'are you pregnant?'
I found that odd, because I felt there's no need for a baby in the womb to affect the breast milk, so I asked questions but got similar responses too.
Then not just the hospital, but people close to me have experienced such too without actually knowing the cause. I and my friend were trying to conjure up reasons in our head for it, silly ones that I can't say 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ and I asked a doctor who told me there's no medical explanation for that.
I went online and the English is plenty🙄, with no explicit reason for this occurrence.

So I'm here now to ask, if someone has any explanation for this?
I'm not asking for any report or something like that o, I'm just curious to know what the quarrel is between a newborn and a growing foetus. Why the beef over breast milk they (foetus) don't get to drink for months?
😒😒😒

#FlashbackFriday

I just read a post that reminded me of this. It's long o😐😯

Few years ago I was home and mum sent me on an errand in the next street. You know the teenage age where you like going on errands because you are feeling fly and all fine na 😎, you want to trek everywhere around especially at night?.  Yea, that age 😀

'who will help me buy airtime downstairs? '
You will just shout from your room' me oo.. Mummy let me buy for you'😊

I jejeli collected the money, then diverted to my room to rub small powder, (what? 😎😏? I am going to the next street, duhhhh😑😐), then change my house clothe to outing cloth incase I get a toaster na, ighotago😐😎😎
I made sure my mum didn't see me going out of course, so I just sneaked from my room straight to the door.
She shouted from the parlor 'who is opening that door?' (we have one noisy amebo 😬iron door leading to the stairs that announces everybody trying to leave or enter the house)
Me : 'mummy it's me, I'm going to buy the card you sent me' (I was replying from behind the door)
Mum : since that time 😮? What were you doing since Ifeyinwa? Nwete gi there eh, common zuzuru and go get what I sent you osiso.. Nonsense 😑..

Iya nme, what is my concern? 😏 😏 I have dressed for the occasion mbok so insult me anyhow, e no concern me 💃😎.

I run downstairs, out the gate and take my time to catwalk to the next street, not minding that we have about 3 shops downstairs 😢😐. They won't have 'mtn' card na 😎, I thought to myself.
Then voila, God answered my prayers 😇 and sent me a toaster😀. My powder and change of clothes won't be a waste.
I pose at the junction leading to my house and the next street, forgetting all thoughts of the mtn recharge card, listening to the sweet lies and nothings my toaster was saying. But in all, just feeling myself 🙈🙈🙊.
Then the devil struck, I turned while I was doing the usual shyness thing and my dad was approaching.
Jesus! 😮😮😮😮😮😧😢. Where is he going to this night na?
I tried to remember all the lies in my head or excuses I could use, for where? 😱. Nothing made sense.
Then I smiled 😊😊, cause I remembered my dad doesn't see well at night. He won't recognise me na 😊, shebi he used to drive past me at night? Mtchw😀😁. This one no go catch me.. I relaxed my thing, and he was close now.
Then the yeye guy now opened his mouth and greeted him.  Ha😱😱😱, daddy answer greeting and pass na 😎, he no gree. He now turned and answered very well, then looked at my back that was turned to him and said,
'ify e gotego ihe mummy Ziri gi? '
(have you bought what your mum sent you)
Ha😱, I didn't know the Lord has opened my daddy's eyes at night o.
I just replied : yes sir, daddy good evening sir, I'm going now sir, and all the sirs kept flying out..
He then nodded and walked past.

I left the wucked toaster immediately, I RAN to the shop praying,, and begging God for forgiveness, so that he can save me this last time from the beating I will receive at home, by making my dad forget to tell mum.
you know that trick where you have to pull your eye lashes so your parents will forget something you did? 😏 😢
Oh I pulled everything jare, daddy must forget this incident forever 👏.

Then I ran back home, sneaked back to my room to change my clothes sharp sharp, then cornered to the parlor.
Me: mummy here, give me your phone let me help you (ezigbo Mmadu things o)
Mum: what kept you there since? You this girl, I will deal with you o. Mind yourself in this house, why didn't you buy here, Yadav Yaya zzzzzzz....... I wasn't listening...

Then dad came back, I stayed in my room, just listening attentively whether he will mention it.. I waited o till they were about going to bed, he didn't tell her anything!
Oh thank you Jesus 🙆 💁. You are too much baba😀😀. He has forgotten o. I prayed a Thanksgiving prayer and slept happily.
But alas, my happiness was short lived.

 He told her in bed! 😧😢😢😫

I woke up in the middle of the night looking up to a very fierce looking koboko and an angry looking mum. See sweat /tears 😅.
Please brothers and sisters in the Lord, you can imagine the rest...

Tough Love ☹️

Tough love.
--------------------
I passed out from the compulsory service a few weeks ago and my parents' calls since then have been 'Ifeyinwa bata wa zie nụ. Gịnị ka ika ná eme ébé ahụ?' and a host of them. Most of my friends and acquaintances are all asking the same thing, 'when are you going home?'
Like I don't understand. Is there anything like a job or activity aside my sewing, waiting for me at home? Or you all feel that because I'm a girl, I should run home after service, continue to say 'thank you ma, thank you sir' and not fend for myself?
The last I checked, 18 years is still the adult age in this country, and In saner climes I should have moved out of my parents house 7 years ago, but I can't try that here na. Going to the university and This service year was always a blessing and escape route for me, because that's my only acceptable reason to leave my house and live out for as long as required. It pains me because I can't remember my parents ever calling my elder brother like this to come back home, the highest they did was congratulate him and encourage him to come back when he gets the chance. And they remind him to 'cho wa ọrụ ọ'. Every single day now, my mum or dad calls in the mornings and evenings to ask me, 'Ifeyinwa, when are you coming back?' and each time, I tell them I have work to do here, they will grumble and complain and still call again, to ask me same thing. Ah ah. Na only me Don finish service?

I remember when I got posted here last year, I cried my eyes out and promised myself I won't stay an extra day here once I finish service. But months into the service year, reality hit me. I can't help it, this is Nigeria 🇳🇬. It's not about running back home to continue being dependent, it's about getting my footing in life, for me. To be able to make decisions, on what to eat, buy, pay bills, make budgets, send money home, and do things I feel like doing because I want to. Not because I was told to. This is the only period in my life I think I can have this level of space, as an adult, why can't I?
I know my parents love me, and yes they probably want me to come home and stay with them out of that love. But this is love, u might say its harmful to me. After a few days, the 'missing me fever' will wear off.

 Then what next??

Expectations hurt 😢😢

At the passing out parade at camp, I had high expectations. One of the reasons I stopped expecting so much from people, is because I hate disappointments so much. There's something it does to me.

Earlier,...
You see, my close friend in camp Pp, her elder brother was a senior to our camp commandant, so he instructed her to go meet the camp commandant and introduce herself as his sister.
Me :wow, see opportunity na, to get close to the officials and choose the best place of primary assignment.
Poor me and my high hopes 🙄😢.
We met him, greeted and she introduced herself, and yes by default and by force 😎me too. I started greeting this man unnecessarily, reminding him per say that 'it's me oo🤗, pps friend na, your seniors sisters friend ọ,' you had to remember abeg.
Then my lucky day came. He asked me a few days before we rounded up camp activities where I wanted to serve. That's my place of primary assignment.
Ah, I didn't hesitate to say government House. I already made enquiries about the other places that one can be posted here and didn't find any appealing. I obviously don't like teaching, it's not my strength at all, I just make efforts. And the other places, ministries, you will just spend transport going there everyday without doing nothing. Five days or four days a week. Ah no ọ. I'm not a medically inclined graduate na, so hospital Don Commot from my list 🤦‍♀️. So I thought, government house all the way. I can make impact there, work from the ICT room.
Haba , at all at all, Yobe no go too bad like that that their government house won't have ICT room na.
Besides, I should make contacts there, meet the politicians and their wives for my fashion business, you understand na 🤔. I was busy scheming plans, drawing map in my head. Kai.
And with the confidence I had in this our commandant, I just relaxed. At all at all na him bad pass.

The day for passing out parade came, time to distribute place of primary assignment letters. I was so confident, you needed to see my shoulders, my charisma in my khaki and boots na. The charisma of one going to the government house to serve. Cheiiii.
We stood in line, my number 29, very close sef. I almost snatched the letter from the official when I heard my name, as I immediately skimmed through looking for the place I was posted to.

Ooom, where is it na? Anxiety didn't allow me be great. It took me about 5 minutes to see it, at the top left corner of the paper.
A secondary school!
No!!! I cried. My heart broke 😭😭😭😭😭. And the tears started to flow immediately. I started to soil the papers with my tears, then I remembered who promised me that I was going to get my choice.
Blindly, I started to walk towards the podium, he was still standing there. I couldn't see or hear my friends asking me what the problem was, or the cab driver that has been standing beside me since, asking my location so he could take me.
He kept following me and talking, but the look I gave him when I raised my head eh, he didn't think twice before he stopped in his tracks and did a U-turn immediately.
The commandant saw me walking towards him in tears, and started to walk to me.

'what happened? Are you OK?'

I couldn't talk, just handed him the letter.
He looked at it, then looked at me, and felt so dejected himself.

'I'm sorry. Really sorry. They assured me it was going to be there too'. He tried to console me.
But me, I wasn't listening again, and there was nothing to be done except reject.

But In the end, everything works together for good to those that love God 🤗. My disappointment turned into a huge blessing.

My first alcohol experience

My long time secondary school mad friend was in town. I was so excited so I called up another friend and told her let's go visit okwybaby.. We got to our friend's house, and started gisting and laughing from the gate.. We got upstairs, seated and didn't even remember to take anything, the excitement was more than the tummy business. She remembered she hadn't served us anything more than 30 minutes later so she went to the fridge. Her brother only had alcohol in his apartment, and she didn't want to go downstairs to buy. She said the drink was sweet and tasted like palmwine..

'Ah ah, bring it na' . I cooed🤗

Babe brought one small bottle first and said we should try it, if we liked it she will bring the other one. I and my other friend Naz shared the first bottle, we liked it and asked for the second. By then our laughter was getting unnecessarily louder and we were just talking anyhow now 🙈🙈. Okwy was laughing, she had to go to the market so we hurried up with the drinks and start going.

'Haa babe, my eyes are turning me ọ' .
Naz said the same thing too.
We got to the road, my friend was just laughing at the way we were staggering, so she came back and had to cross us before she took the opposite direction. How we got home that day is a story on it's own 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️.

Please share your first alcohol experience let's have a good laugh.
Have a good week.